The Heart Brings You Back
by JULESM24
Summary: Loosely based on the season 5 finale “He gently rocked her back and forth and can feel her nod slightly as she holds onto him tighter but he knows she doesn’t believe it because he knows this has broken her and he knows she doesn’t believe this will


**Disclaimer.I dont own the show nor do I own the characters all I own is the idea :)**

**song lyrics is Stranded by Jennifer Page :)**

**I wrote most of this oneshot yesterday and this was pretty much written in the anticipation of the new episode .I didn't manage to get it finished before the new episode which I had hoped to but still its finished now lol.I havent watched the new episode yet as I wanted to get this done so as I didn't want to have anything to compare the scenes with as Im so critical with writing and I just know if has watched the show then tried to wrote this Id have probably took forever to finish it lol do I make sense?hope so lol.I guess in some way this oneshot will perhaps be different from the way it plays out in screen ,some lines the same as I do read spoilers lol and wanted there to be a little of that in there . But please review and let me know what you think as it took a long time to write and I would love to read what you think ****J**

**I want to give a special dedication to one of my good friends Rosy who helped me with a particular part of this story and allowed me to ramble on and bounce ideas off with her without getting bored or annoyed lol and have to say we did stay up late disscusing this oneshot as I was having one of my "critcial writers moments "lol.You are amazing hun and I cant thank you enough ,you really helped me to get my writers block away .I love you lots and I really hope you like the story . :)**

**THE Heart Always Brings you back !**

**_I can only take so much_**

**_These tears are turning me to rust_**

She stands in the airport caught up in her own thoughts, today is the day she says goodbye to Angie, the little girl she has been taking care of and she is not sure whether she will ever see her again and her hearts breaking ,before her stands the woman from the adoption services ready to take the child back to her parents and in doing so Brookes heart is going to break even more, Yes she's only been in the child's life a short time but for her it doesn't feel that way she loves that little girl so much and the fact that she's saying goodbye is pretty is breaking her inside completely. She tries to be brave in that moment but it's a much harder thing to do when your world is crashing down around you.

She wonders why it is that everyone she's ever loved never remains constant in her life ,She always has to let the people she loves more than anything Go .let them go to find something else, find someone else .Is it cause what they have with her isn't enough?

Is it cause she's not enough?

The child in her arms watched everything around her ,everything was so new to her the world was so fresh untouched , sometimes Brooke wished she could trade all her life experience for just a ounce of that , to look at the world and not feel like she was on her own to look at the world and be happy, to love someone and be loved completely.

As Angie coos happily in her arms ,the child remains blissfully unaware of the heartbreak the woman that's holding her is going through ,Today Brooke is saying goodbye and she knows its probably going to be forever, the forced smile remains on her face ,the one she's become accustomed to through the years using it as a mask to hide the true extent of the pain she's going through, to hide the reality from the world…..

Lucas Scott watches the sad scene in front of him ,having just entered the airport he hasn't told Brooke that he is there ,he figured she would need someone to be there for her ,Brooke hadn't asked him to be there in fact she hadn't asked anyone to be there but then that was typical Brooke she was fiercely independent and brave and had always tried to do things on her own. It perhaps had took Lucas Scott a very long time to realise what Brooke Davis sometimes says isn't exactly what she always means its this fact he wished he has realised way back in high school. because if he had he realises maybe he wouldn't have hurt her nor would he have took her for granted the way he did.

_**You know it only breaks my heart**_

_**To see you standing in the dark**_

_**Alone waiting there for me to come back **_

_**I'm too afraid to show**_

He watches she looks down at the little girl ,and a genuine smile appears on her face as she hugs her tightly closing her eyes to block out the world so its just them in that moment and he cant tell how hard it is for her .She then slowly opens her eyes and smiles down at the little girl a sad smile taking its place from the previous one and he cant help but feel sad in that moment because that look reminds him of every heartbreaking moment they have ever shared together ,it reminds him of times when he hasn't treated her the way she deserved

"Brooke its time" says the woman softly even she could see the woman front of her was finding it hard to keep it together

Brooke nods sadly

"Well Angie I guess this is it…….." whispers Brooke as she hugs the child one last time ,

"I know you might one day forget me but I will never forget you. I love you….." says Brooke as she does her best to keep the tears that threaten to spill from her eyes away

The little girl smiled as Brooke kisses her forehead and then there is a moment of silence ,the world shut out, only her and the little girl she holds in her arms

It takes every piece of her to hand over the little girl to the lady ,every piece of her not to cry,

But one thing she cant stop his the fact in the inside her heart is breaking piece by piece

".Remember you did a great thing ,Angie now has so much to look forward too and Angie may be very young, but children never forget, She will always remember you and she will know that everything that comes after today and everything she achieves is because of you." said the woman smiling

Brooke nods as the woman starts to walk away holding Angie who begins to cry It took everything in Brooke to smile back when she couldn't bear it any longer she closed her eyes unable to bear seeing someone else she loved walk away from her .The moment she opens her eyes Angie was no longer in sight.

The realisation that she's now on her own again hits her hard, she wished she had asked someone to come with her maybe not just someone but maybe the one boy who can comfort her like no other ….

"Hey you….."said Lucas right on queue as if reading her thoughts, she turns around surprised to see him there ,the tears she's held back now roll freely down her face as he holds his arms out and she steps into his embrace.

"You okay?"

He knew it was a stupid question considering he could hear the heartbreaking sobs that came from her and the way she was clinging onto him for dear life like she thought somehow she would lose him too

But she never will that much he knows ,that much he's always known. Because no what despite everything they never do lose each other in fact they despite everything they find each other time and time again.

"Barely keeping it together Luke….."says Brooke as she holds onto him tightly never wanting to let go

He had always hated seeing her upset and this time was no different as he knew no matter what he couldn't take that pain away it's the one thing he is never completely been able to do…..

He of course could feel her pain too as he had spent most of his time with Brooke and Angie ,in some ways the little girl had brought them closer than ever ,he also loved spending time with them both ,being there for Brooke when she needed him perhaps in one way this was his way of making amends for all the times he hadn't been there for her in the past ,for all the times he hadnt been what he should be to her…

" I'm here for you" said Lucas whispering to her ,

The words reminded him of what she had once said to him it's a line that's defined there bond through the years that she has always been there for him no matter what and if he is honest with himself he knows most times he hasn't deserved that because he hasn't always treated her right. Perhaps that can be blamed for him being young or because back then he never did see the big picture about things or If hes completely honest with himself he took her for granted many times .That's the thing about growing up when you look back you finally see the bigger picture and you cant help but think about things that should have been said or done but the sad thing is sometimes the hardest things to say are ultimately always the things that truly do matter but back then he didn't know that fact or maybe he did know

"You …….always are thanks Luke" said Brooke as she held tightly to him trying to block everything out ,trying to not feel the pain Angie's departure has left her with. it's a feeling she's become familiar with before and this feeling is one she has never wanted to feel again

As she stood there with his arms around her rocking her back and forth , it was funny in some ways to her how in that moment she's reminded of their high school years and how even something as simple as his cologne which he wore back then and still wears now brings the memories back to her it comforts her in some way as his embrace is the one thing that comforts her beyond anything else ,its where everything feels safer and better and through the years not only has he always been there for her but he has also became her sanctuary the place that still feels like home,

That place that remains her true north

"Its going to be okay Brooke I know it doesn't feel like it right now but we will get through this together"

He gently rocked her back and forth and can feel her nod slightly as she holds onto him tighter but he knows she doesn't believe it because he knows this has broken her and he knows she doesn't believe this will get better as he knows her, he can read her always like one of his favourite books and this is time is no different

"lets go I will take you home" says Lucas ,he is very worried at this point as she cant stop crying and he wonders how badly this will effect her .Angie may have only been in their life's for a short time but he knows she meant the world to brooke and this has hit her head .All he knows is he's going to get her through this, he will be there for her just like she has been there for him countless of times

She nods her head ,the tears still streaming down her face as his arm stays firmly around her as he guides her out of the airport

The drive back to her house was a silent one every so often he would take his attention off the road to look at her as she stared blankly out of the window of his car, at one point a single tear rolled down her face at the point the took her hand in his and held it tightly for a brief second he was sure he could see a small smile appear on her face but it disappeared as quick as soon as the car would pass any place Brooke had been with Angie ,the sad look would yet again wash over,

She knew this feeling wouldn't leave it never does. through the years she has grew to know this feeling well and she knows heartbreak for someone you still love never truly leaves.

As they enter her home ,the false hope in her wishes Angie would be there, that there would be some miracle happen and she would be told the little girl would be staying with her but the emptiness of her home makes that hope fade away pretty quickly and for her its like losing Angie all over again

She sits down on the sofa, followed by Lucas his eyes still on her its clear he is worried about her ,that brooding look he always gets stays firmly on his face ,she smiles a little at the fact that yet again he is there for her when he needs her the most.

"Its not even been a whole day and I already miss her so much Luke"

"I know I do too its going to be much quiet around here without her" says Lucas

"Yes It will its going to be very hard to get used to,…I really hate this"

She looks at him with that sad lost look she's always worn when she feels the world is against her when she feels she has nothing left ,its a look that continues to haunt him he knows it well because every bad heartbreaking moment they've ever shared ends with that look,

She knows he's still watching her out of the corner of her eye ,she can see that look on his face he always has when hes searching for the right words to say to her, She breaks the silence

"Must be great to be a writer"

A puzzled look appears on his face from the previous one and she continues

"You get to live life twice, anything bad that's happened you can rewrite it ,fix it ,I wish sometimes I could do that…

"what do you mean?"

She shrugs looking at him

"Fix everything bad ,rewrite history would be kind of nice instead of always wondering why things are they way they are. Its like anything good in life ,anything that matters goes away, it never stays constant it makes me wonder sometimes why that is and why it continues to happen"

He shakes his head as he knows that isn't truly the case that being a writer doesn't make life easier he wishes in some ways it was so then he could rectify every mistake he has made and doing so go back and stop every time he's hurt her and make it better, make it right. Prove to her how much she does mean to her because he knows through the years she has questioned that, Brooke Davis of course being the woman she is hasn't ever tried to make him feel bad nor has she ever told him that but he knows because in their most saddest times especially back in high school when after the break up he would sometimes look at her when he knows she thought he wasn't looking or didn't care and the broken look on her face would highlight so much to him. its a look that over the years still haunts him as he is fully aware he hasn't always done right by her,

"Being a writer doesn't really make things easier in the end its still on some levels a way of a escape from reality .I think in some ways if you can its best just to say it and even if you cant sometimes people that matter don't need words as Im a writer that probably sounds ridiculous but I mean even when I write things in my book sometimes people……….wont ever know what exactly its about and I guess I like that in a way as it keeps that part of my life sacred and just for me . I think sometimes the best things in life ultimately hurt the most and even if I cant change things I know in my heart what people mean to me and sometimes all the pain and heartbreak is worth in it a way as it teaches us to realise that the people that mean the most to us we never lose not really as what matters most never truly fade away "

It's something that he doesn't mean to say and ends up blurting out and maybe if he had said this to anyone else they wont get his logic or know what he meant but she does to a certain extent and she nods as what he says makes all the sense in the world to her.

" Yeah well that's true ,I guess it's the price we pay sometimes for getting what our heart wants……..I just hate this feeling ,I don't miss it at all"

He watches as a single tear rolls down her perfectly flawless face as she frantically rubs it away and he knows she hopes he didn't notice that but of course he has he always does notice everything about her and he cant help but ask the question that is now in his head

"You have felt this bad before?"

She shrugs and looks to the ground

"I guess you could say that many times"

And he knows deep down in his heart what she means, he knows what she means because when it comes to the past he has always felt the same

She pauses and wonders whether to say what she means ,the words seem so eager to come from her and she's almost scared of his reaction and she cant bring herself to look at him when her next statement comes

" letting go is never easy but then its what ive always had to do, anyone I ever love I let go its pretty much a tradition Lucas" she jokes lightly even though there is nothing funny in that statement for her but humor is part of her defensive mod and over the years she uses it to hide the truth ,her tone then turn serious

"I just don't know how many times I can do this ……."

_**I can only take so much.**_

_**These tears are turning me to rust I know you're waiting there for me to come back **_

_**I'm too afraid to show**_

She stands up and her back is now turned to him as she says it, her eyes divert to the picture of her ,Angie and Lucas ,her finger slowly rubs over the glass where Angie is and then settles on Lucas and she does her best to push every tear that threats to spill out of her eyes, she doesn't want reminded in that moment of what she's lost or what she always seems to lose,

She brought out of her thoughts by his hand on her shoulder but she doesn't turn around as she needs to keep it together she's already embarrassed how much she broke down in front of him as she wants to look strong she doesn't want to look broken ,she wants to be perfect in front of him, she wants to hide the truth from him as its so much easier to hide the reality than to show it.

But he sees past through all of that ,he always has and he sees what she's trying to do and he wont let it happen again ,he isnt going to let her shut him out he turns her to face him, forcing her to look at her, his hand strokes the side off her face causing her to look up

"hey…you know no matter what she wont forget you right? what you did for her was a amazing thing Brooke, its something she's going to look back on as she goes through life and see that every moment she achieves, every time she's at her happiest it will be because of you and what you gave to her ,you proved just how much you loved her, I know it hurts to lose her………It hurts me too but no matter what that love wont go away and wherever she is she will remember you……"says Lucas smiling

He realise what he's saying does have a hidden depth to it s even after all this his mind goes back when she let him go, when she walked out of that part of his life that he still holds dear, he's never truly understood why she did which has meant as times gone by he's went over it a million times in his head, each time the endings the same, each time the memory of the sad look on her face killing him inside and above everything each time he cant change it, he cant make it better nor can he stop seeing that look the one that seems to have engraved into his memory through the years. If he could pinpoint one of the times in his life he would want to change it would be every moment he had hurt her

They share a look and she wonders on some level if what he's saying has a hidden meaning but she quickly shakes that thought out of her head, they are friends and have been very long time, a bond grew stronger through the years everything they've gone through has always brought them back to each other .

"You know I was thinking what you've done for Angie, Rachel and me and all kind of people, You save people Brooke Davis thank you for letting me share that"

A smile appears on her face, the most natural one she's had all day

You call me when she's home safe"

She nods and he turns to go

"Lucas we have been through a lot you and me…."

The smile appears on his face as he turns back around the sentences true reality washes over him as he all their memories they have ever shared flood back to him like it had happened just yesterday.

"we have " he nods

"And I wouldn't have got through today or a bunch of others without you so thank you "

It's the truth for her she really doesn't know what she would do without him.hes always been her friend, her rock ,her confidante but so much more than that

He's always been her everything.

He doesn't know why but at that very moment hes just reminded how very selfless she has always been, never once asking for anything in turn never once expecting it and in that moment he's just reminded how remarkable Brooke Davis is

"Your welcome"

"Luke before you go………"

She turns to pick something up from the table and at first he cant see what she is holding ,a look washes over her face which reminds him of her younger self back in high school .a look she used to have sometimes when she seemed to to wonder if to say what she is about to say.

.

Brooke bites her lip nervously wondering if to say what she is about to but then she knows she needs to,she has to let him know what him being there for her through everythings means to her.

"This is for you ,I love you Lucas Scott you know that?"

The words are almost some release to her ,she's stopped herself from saying that many times and she knows he wont ever know the true extent to how she feels or the true extent of the meaning of that sentence but for her its okay as she needs to say it even if he may not say it back.

She then hands him the purple monkey. a surprised reaction comes over his face

HE knows well that the monkey isn't just some toy, this cuddly toy holds a story to her and for him .It is what holds her own childhood memories attached to it, and that's part of the reason she bought it for Angie and so he knows that monkey not only represents the memory of the little girl but represents a memory of one of the few good childhood memories Brooke has ever .and so for her to give this to him means a lot to him as he knows the story behind it .

He looks up from the monkey she has just handed him ,very touched by what she has just placed in his hand ,then he smiles

"I love you too Brooke Davis"

_**I miss you**_

_**I need you**_

_**Without youI'm stranded**_

_**I love you .So come back**_

And all to easily she finds herself captivated in his gaze unable to tear herself from it ,the words she always had loved to hear for him is back and it stirs up the old familiar feelings she's always tried to keep hidden

Hidden from him

He stares at her transfixed his eyes fixed on her like has found the answer to what he's searched forever for ,for what his hearts always wanted, always craved .And it almost feels like they're back where they used to be when he'd call her his pretty girl and she'd melt when he looked at her, because he looks at her like maybe he could be that one person who she was enough for

But she knows she isn't enough .because that lesson has painfully been taught to her and even after all this time it still hurts to not be enough for the one person who is still everything to her

She slowly brings her hand up to touch his cheek, as a small smile appears on his face. They are caught in the moment and everything else seems to fade away like its a dream, like its not really happening

She suddenly realises that there's something missing in her life - something that can't be bought or bargained for or replaced with anything else , something she was never sure she had in the first place, but that one look tells her that she's sure she must have - otherwise she wouldn't feel the hole in her heart where it used to be so then - her hand is still resting on his cheek and his expression is still frozen ,he almost believes if he even moves in the slightest he will shatter the moment like every other moment that's has been shattered before .

He brings his hand up and wraps his fingers around hers

and the strained smile falls from her face then her hand gently falls from his cheek, her fingers still wrapped around his loosely wrapped together and he swallows

Because he knows that if she doesn't break the contact soon then it's going to mean more than it's allowed to and they both know they can't go to that place again she's still the angry cheerleader and he's still the hopeless romantic - time has done nothing to change that he tries to heal her, and he only ever hurts her more

he tries to love her the way she deserves, and he only ends up breaking her heart

He is to her still the one man who can break her heart but hes the only one still who can mend it and make it whole again.

He knows he's made many mistakes in his life - but he'll be damned if he lets himself hurt her again.And he knows if he doesn't let himself want her then she'll carry on believing that they were nothing more than a childhood romance and she's safe.

Safe from the heartbreak he always feels he inflicts on her, its eaten away at him through years just how much he has hurt her ,it was never intended but some how he's done it many times and no matter what he wont allow that to happen again.

The most heroic thing that Lucas Scott had ever done was to turn his back on love, believing that he would walk forever among those who didn't understand

although he believed that she would never return to him as she had no reason to, he found the comfort he needed in watching his comet burning brighter than ever, She has given so much to him ,Direction ,Beauty and meaning but even more than that she has given him a never ending selfless love even when it seemed that the darkness of life's heartaches smothered them both. His heart is always reawakened and that is because of her and this time its his turn to repay that unique kind of love back to her and protect her .

Their fingers are still tangled together and he knows he should break the contact. he needs to be a better guy than this - he needs to save her from him and the way he will inevitably hurt her .She thinks he never came through on his promise to save her little does she know that he's been keeping his word every day and keeping that promise has been one of the hardest things he has ever had to to do because time hasn't changed one single fact and thats he isn't complete without her.

_**If it's coming over you**_

_**Like it's coming over me**_

_**I'm crashing like a tidal wave**_

:

It's been so long since he's touched her so intimately and it's been so long since she's really looked at him and she's like water on his dry lips,he aches for her,years for her,hes tried to block that feeling out over time it has been easy to ignore it but now the feelings yet again are there.

She's the red to his grey she's the temptation he never could resist

She is what she has always been his everything

When he looks at her like that, it makes her want him to take her in his arms and hold her block the world out and let the rest of the world fall away. but the rest of the world is always there - something she suddenly becomes painfully aware of and fear breaks the moment.

She pulls her hand away from his as he turns away from her trying to hide the blush that's crept into his cheeks.She fakes a laugh while he mumbles under his breath quietly

"I guess I should go………"

A sad expression then clouds over her face as he already is walking to the door and she shakes her head at herself being silly trying to mute the tug she feels in her heart for him

But just as he is about to leave when he gets to the door he turns around ,needing to just say one last thing needing to let her know a little part of his hidden truth the smile appearing yet again on his face ,his brow wrinkled like he is in deep thought and then comes the words he know is very true.

""I don't know what I would do without you pretty girl"

It's a simple sentence but yet it holds the truth for him, and holds so much meaning to her and her dimples appear in full view

"I don't know what I would do without you either" says Brooke simply

He smiles as for a few seconds they hold each others gaze again .And there it is the understanding between them both, the look that tells them all they really need to know. Because as they know sometimes love doesn't ever need words.

And then he leaves as her eyes divert to the picture yet again, the smile stays strong

"love you always ."

Because for her she still has that hope that one day things will be the way they are meant to be.

He stands outside looking at the door deep in thought

To the outside world Brooke Davis is a famous fashion designer she has everything she's well known all over world but they don't really know the true her . But to him she's so much more than that she's the girl he never once can forget, she's the girl who has always been there for him through the most difficult times of his life. What is Brooke Davis to Lucas Scott? She is quite simply the girl who saved him.

Everyone has that someone ,the person who knows you better than you know yourself, the one who sees past outside appearances and faults , the one who in a split second has the power to make your world better place ,who believes in you when many don't and forces you to muster courage you never thought you had. Who tells you over and over again. And that is what they are to each other, they're the light to each others darkest days.

One of these days he hopes life will be different and the path that always makes them find each other will yet again but this time it will be their destination and will only have one ending, he believes that with all of his heart

Because he knows the heart has reason ,reason cannot know.

And one day their hearts will lead them back home

**I wanna be with you**

**  
****You wanna be with me ****Its coming over me**

**Its coming over you.**

**--**

**The end.**

Well what do you think? Please review and let me know thankyou and thanks for taking time to read this :)


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